Tag: transformation

Transforming Meditation: Part 2

Transforming Meditation: Part 2

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Before I had an opportunity to actually write down the four-day spiritual plan for Lydia, I met her daughter in a long, empty corridor joining two buildings at the nursing home. The daughter lived in the mountains of a Western state.  From earlier conversations, I knew that she held a sort of “new age” belief, neither affirming nor denying God, but choosing to find wonder and mystery in nature.  

I told her that, with the approval of my supervisor, yet to be obtained, I planned to continue to work with her mother over the next few days. I began to explain to her that my approach to her mother was based on the love that God has for each one of us a child of God.  If her mother could realize this, then she could also realize her self-worth. 

The daughter then told me that she no longer had any love for her mother, her mother had never been able to show any love for her, and she only was there because her mother had become dependent on her and she felt duty-bound. As she said this, her eyes filled with tears.  

I suggested that we just let God work in the situation and remain open to what God had in mind for herself and her mother. We agreed that she would meet with the mother and me daily. 

Next, I wrote out the spiritual care plan and shared it with my CPE Supervisor. He reviewed and agreed to the plan, making adjustments here and there. The spiritual care plan was designed to spend approximately an hour a day over the next four days with the mother and daughter. 

The plan was a spiritual journey leading up to the operation to assist the mother to overcome anger, fear, and lack of forgiveness in order to experience God’s love. A specific objective was the healing of the mother and the reconciling love of the mother and daughter. 

A scripture reading that I chose for the mother to stay with her throughout the journey was, “You must lay aside your former way of life and the old self, which deteriorates through illusion and desire, and acquire a fresh, spiritual way of thinking.” (Ephesians 4:22-23)  

This reading was selected on the premise that she first had to forgive herself for accepting the illusion that she was not worthy of God’s love and giving up her “power,” only then, could she forgive those who had abused her. Also, it was apparent in her current condition, Lydia was incapable of showing love or other emotion to anyone else.  

At an earlier meeting, I had suggested to the mother that she tell the daughter that she loved her. In the presence of the daughter, all the mother could say, after some prompting from me, was, “I appreciate you” and that without feeling or conviction.  Once Lydia agreed to take the spiritual journey to heal, we met each day for the next four days.  

Please click here to link to Transforming Meditation: Part 1, Transforming Meditation: Part 3, and Transforming Meditation: Part 4

Transforming Meditation: Part 1

Transforming Meditation: Part 1

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Whatever a person experiences in meditation, it is the repeated encounter with “self” in the meditative process that eventually leads to a “self-awareness” which is, at the same time, healing and transforming.  

The “turning within” leads to the encounter with the “true-self” stripped of all ideas or images of ourselves that we have developed and held over the years.  

The transformation of self is not unlike a second conversion experience at a deeper level of prayer and understanding.  I had many experiences in meditation wherein I encountered, struggled, and eventually overcame obstacles to spiritual growth.  I believe these experiences prepared me eventually to reach beyond myself to help others in their spiritual journey.

Case Study: Lydia 

The following is a case study, recorded at the time, when, after several other careers, I was in training for chaplaincy. In the nursing facility mentioned earlier, I encountered a 66-year old woman patient who, according to her daughter, had a history of depression and paranoia, but had not been previously been treated.  

Lydia, the mother, had recently been diagnosed with a brain tumor and had spoken of killing herself.  She had had a thorough psychiatric evaluation and was now medicated for depression.  She was facing an operation to remove a portion of a brain tumor and her self-image was so poor that she felt that she didn’t deserve to live.  

I learned from both her and the daughter, Cynthia, who lived out of town, that she came from an abusive childhood and, later, an abusive relationship with her former husband.  She was so weak and fearful that she could not raise her head while sitting in a wheelchair.  Her psychiatrist believed that would not survive the operation since she “no longer had a will to live.”

Lydia had been Presbyterian but had not practiced for many years and Cynthia had no formal religion.  Although the mother and daughter had spoken weekly by phone for a number of years, they had a tenuous relationship at best since the mother could never show any affection and the daughter felt duty-bound but “used” by the mother.  The daughter, recently married and resentful to be there, was in town for a two-week period leading up to the operation.

The mother had been relatively open with me about family history and the abuse that she had endured. I found her intelligent, articulate, and dependent on the daughter, but unable to function for herself.  

My intuition, experience, and very limited training told me that she was suffering from deep-seated anger, fear, inability to forgive, and loss of hope.  She was physically and spiritually depleted. I felt inadequate by training to address the myriad of psychological and spiritual problems facing the woman. 

Nevertheless, as I awoke in bed early in the morning and was meditating, as is a habit, it came to me in a moment of enlightenment what to do.  I was to prepare a spiritual care plan over four days leading up to the day of the operation.  

Please click here to link to Transforming Meditation: Part 2, Transforming Meditation: Part 3, and Transforming Meditation: Part 4