Author: Jack Sharp

Solitude and Silence in Meditation: Part 2

Solitude and Silence in Meditation: Part 2

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However, God most often comes to us in silence wherever we seek out that silence.  It is when the noise of the world is not overpowering that God can best speak to us in a small, quiet voice. 

Be still and know that I Am God. (Psalm 46:10)  

Silent prayer is the way to enter into the presence of God and to let the Spirit of God seep into the soul. It is a way to experience the loving presence of God without asking or requesting.  It is the antithesis of action; a conscious choice to simply “be,” to rest in God. It leads to the gift
of peace, of stillness and calm even in the most trying of circumstance. 

The practice of silent prayer is to turn oneself entirely over to God, to let God act and guide one’s life, to listen intently for God’s word. While listening might imply some action, it is more a state of being open and receptive to God.  It is a diminishing of “self” in favor of humble
acceptance of God’s will, a total commitment to God’s call in our life.  

All masks are shed and we stand naked before God in the reality of the One who made us, in God’s likeness and image. (Genesis 1:26)   

The more we are able to empty ourselves and enter into the reality that is God, our Creator, the more we come to know ourselves as dependent on God’s grace and love. We become aware of our limitations, our conditions for acceptance of others, our selfishness and sinfulness, and our desires for success or failure.  

The struggle to deal with lifelong behaviors based upon self-centeredness may be long and arduous. We do not give up easily, what has become comfortable behaviors for us, even those that we know are disabling. 

In a sense, we become addicted to practices, sometimes even religion or religiosity, that may be harmful to drawing closer to the Source of our being.  

However, all these are eventually put aside or sublimated to the overriding desire to draw close to God.  God’s graciousness and mercy to accept us and love us in face of all of our imperfections, overwhelms us. 

Click to check out Solitude and Silence in Meditation: Part 1

Solitude and Silence in Meditation: Part 1

Solitude and Silence in Meditation: Part 1

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Solitude or time to oneself becomes increasingly important as meditation becomes a way of balance in life. It matters not whether the individual is active or contemplative by nature, solitude becomes a prerequisite to deepening spirituality through meditation.

Perhaps the best way to practice solitude, at least initially, is through retreats oriented to reflection and periods of silence.  The retreat may last for several days or weeks in a setting apart and away from our regular lives and workday world.  Many retreat centers are located in rural or natural settings and may be directed or undirected as one chooses.  

Retreat centers may-also provide facilities for groups and individuals and-some even provide separate hermitages.  A semi-annual or annual retreat will allow the person on retreat the opportunity to renew the practice of solitude and integrate it into her or his daily life.  

Time apart and alone in nature – the woods, the sea, the plains, the desert, or the mountain top – where one comes into a direct encounter with God’s creation, is another way to renew in solitude without undertaking a formal retreat. 

It has been my practice for many years to take a self-directed retreat at a Trappist monastery in a remote area deep in the Missouri Ozark mountains. The contemplative life of the Monks as they pray the Daily Office (the office includes several interludes of individual and community prayer during the day which begins with Vigils at 3:30 am) is the perfect tempo to extract oneself from the “noise” of the world and renew the spirit in the quiet of the surrounding mountains. 

Whether it be deep in the interior of the woods on the endless logging trails, fishing in the stream that runs through the 3400 acres, or in the chapel chanting the psalms with the Monks, God is encountered everywhere. 

The human spirit comes to rest and is renewed in the wonderful grace that is restored upon every visit, no matter the problems or issues that seemed to persist upon arrival. 

Click to check out Solitude and Silence and Meditation: Part 2

Obstacles to Meditation and Contemplation: Part 2

Obstacles to Meditation and Contemplation: Part 2

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In stark contrast to enlightenment, there are moments when we can find ourselves in a situation where meditation and contemplation are not possible.

I have on just a very few occasions where have I found myself in direct contact with heavy disturbing energy, usually experienced as the “sense” of a particular place or situation.  In all cases, it involved a choice that I had to make.  

Once, while driving to the interior of Mexico from the Midwest United States with my wife and four small children, we arrived late on a Friday night at a motel that acquaintances had arranged for us to stay.  

After viewing our room and the surroundings, I had a strong sense of despair and heavy disruptive energy.  We all sat on a curb in front of the motel and I insisted that we did not stay there but we had nowhere else to go.  

I remembered a listing for a Carmelite convent that I had seen before the trip and decided to call.  The Nuns said they could put us in two rooms usually reserved for priests for the weekend but then we would have to leave.  

On Sunday night, after we had spent the weekend looking for a rental home, the Nuns offered to rent us a section of the convent with rooms including a small living room, kitchen, and several bedrooms strung out around a garden. 

We ended up spending the entire six months of our stay in Mexico with the Nuns, though cloistered, who became like family.  A couple of weeks later some Mexican friends told us of some rituals that had taken place in the same area as the motel, possibly but not for certain, that is what I had sensed.

I share this story to illustrate the importance of paying attention to your intuition and feelings about a space or a place—think back to places where you have felt a change in the energy—you may feel calm when walking in the park but then get a sense of discomfort or overwhelming stress when you visit a place where painful things have happened in the past.

Often it is our choices, even our unconscious choices, that advance or inhibits our ability to meditate.  The Convent was the perfect setting for me to find silence and solitude for meditation, and time to write, while the family adjusted to life in a different culture.

In your own life, can you find a “sacred space” at home or at work?  Can you find the quietude and time to practice meditation daily?  Have you chosen a mantra or sacred symbol to assist in avoiding distraction?  Do you have scriptures or other sources to inspire reflection?  Have you begun the hard work of letting go of those emotions of anger, depression, anxiety, grief, and other personal issues that we tend to bury deep inside?

Until we are ready to confront these issues within ourselves and begin a healing process, we are unlikely to progress far in meditation and contemplation.

Check out Obstacles to Meditation and Contemplation: Part 1 and Obstacles to Meditation and Contemplation: Part 3 and Obstacles to Meditation and Contemplation: Part 4

Obstacles to Meditation and Contemplation: Part 1

Obstacles to Meditation and Contemplation: Part 1

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Some of the obstacles to a deeper level of meditation may arise from past experiences of abuse, violence, poverty, ill-health, or the prevailing culture to name but a few. 

It is common that psychological factors such as fear, anger, guilt, depression, and other types of emotional instability, alienation, and social isolation are inhibitors to spiritual growth. 

It may be necessary for the suffering individual to seek psycho-therapeutic solutions before or coincidental with embarking upon the type of introspection required for meditation.  

On the other hand, meditation itself can be a very healing force with the proper guidance or spiritual direction.  It is important to recognize that we all have experienced and internalized, to some extent, some or all of the inhibiting factors described above.  

As we seek a deeper level of spirituality in meditation, we will encounter unattractive personality traits or behaviors within ourselves that have to be dealt with in order to progress.  These encounters with “self” can be gentle confrontations or struggles within the meditative space that bring about change within ourselves and dissipate with enlightenment.  

Enlightenment involves self-awareness, detachment, and desire for truth. The continual process of encounter with “self” and enlightenment eventually leads to a purification of “self” so necessary to enter contemplation and to develop the contemplative spirit.  

The purification of self is an example of words that fail in adequate description.  It seems to be a cleansing of the soul such that God shows the contemplative person the interior of the mind and body, including the heart, suspended in God’s grace.  God’s grace is so pure that there can be no blemish of disease, or anxiety, or other disorder.  

I recall from my own experience “seeing” in those translucent moments during mediation. I saw the healthy functioning and purity of all aspects of “self,” mind and body, caught up in God in such a way that it left no doubt of my spiritual, mental, and physical health at that moment.

Check out Obstacles to Meditation and Contemplation: Part 2 and Obstacles to Meditation and Contemplation: Part 3 and Obstacles to Meditation and Contemplation: Part 4

What We Will Find

What We Will Find

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As we begin the interior journey in meditation, fears arise in anticipation of what we will find, how truly weak or sad or uncomprehending we really are.  Also, we start to detach from those external attachments felt so necessary for our daily sustenance and wellbeing.  

Most of all, we become detached from the ‘old self” that is self-absorbed or the self that stays in a comfortable, but often toxic, self-loathing.  The initial step into the unknown is frightening because it is alien to most of our earthly experiences. 

Meditation is a quest for transformation of self from a material, self-centered individual into a spiritual being. 

This newly formed spiritual being, while in meditation, is set adrift from the complex, material world as we know it.  

As meditation deepens, we experience a certain sense of timelessness and centeredness with the universe and the natural order. We enter a state of “mindfulness” in which we begin to experience the joy of the present and the fullness of life as it was created by the Author of life. 

It is a state of being in which all images and earthly desires eventually fade.  It is a harmonious state where one is aware of everything and nothing all at once.  It is a state of “inner being” which is at once attached to all and detached from all.  

We are all, at the center, spiritual beings and, therefore secular meditation can also tap into the wellspring of our being.  

However, we/have the choice of God-centered meditation that can eventually lead to contemplation.  Contemplation is the experience of the infused–Spirit of God, as both creator and guiding force in our lives.

Before we discuss contemplation, it may be well to consider the obstacles to finding the “true-self” 

Transforming Meditation: Part 6

Transforming Meditation: Part 6

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Lydia survived the operation and I visited her in the hospital several days later.  Of course, she was still weak and recovering, but her mind seemed fully intact and she was grateful and seemingly at peace.  I asked her how she was doing, how she felt?  She said that she was in “God’s hands.”  

I tell this story as an extreme example of turning within to face those fears and obstacles to fully loving ourselves and others, and the power of God’s love to heal and transform.  It seems that all of us, to a greater or lesser extent, fear this encounter with the “true self” because it is a step into the unknown.  

In one sense, Lydia had become comfortable in her self-loathing and, possibly, only the greater fear of the operation on her brain and the loss of dependence on her daughter finally opened her “true self” to receiving God’s grace.  This grace, once present and available within Lydia immediately spread to begin healing the relationship with her daughter.

What can we take from Lydia’s experience?  In her spiritually depleted and emotionally weakened state, Lydia lived her life as a victim.  The daughter, Cynthia, had become the mother figure in a juxtaposition of roles and resented the role that she was forced to play.  

Lydia’s negative life experience left her emotionally bankrupt, living in darkness, an absence of love in her life except for her pet which was also taken away. The brain tumor only confirmed for her the end of a wasted life – she was left without hope. 

I felt almost as hopeless as I confronted her situation and talked to her psychiatrist, until, in meditation, I sensed the emergence of the Holy Spirit that urged me to develop the plan for her healing.  From that moment, I had no fear or uncertainty about the course of contemplative action that we were taking, it was in God’s hands. 

Lydia had much to deal with, her physical weakness unable to lift her head, her emotional darkness from years of abuse, forgiveness, her relationship with her daughter, fear of the operation, lack of spiritual growth, and a variety of other diagnoses over the years.  

It would be questionable whether Lydia became meditative, but she became reflective, prayerful, and obviously started looking within to find life’s answers under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Transforming Meditation: Part 5

Transforming Meditation: Part 5

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On Saturday, the final day of Lydia’s four-day spiritual care plan leading up to the day of her brain tumor operation, I saw the Holy Spirit at work.

“Lydia, tell me about your other failures?” I asked

She replied, “My marriage, I stayed in my marriage too long.  I should have left when he started wearing my mother’s clothes and became violent…he was having an affair with another man.”  

This was new information for me and I assume for her daughter as well.  I responded, “That must have been very painful for you?”  

“Yes, I…”  This was followed by silence, but no outward emotion.  

The daughter left at this point and Lydia and I talked about the marriage and other possible failures but nothing of additional significance came up – the daughter returned.

I said to Lydia, “How do you feel now?”  

She responded, “OK,” but started backing her wheelchair away. 

“I’ve been pushing you pretty hard for the last few days, I am surprised that you are not angry with me?”  

Lydia said, “I shouldn’t be angry with you, you are trying to help me.”  

“Do you know that you are disconnecting from me?”  

“Yes, I am tired and just want to lay down. I wish the operation were over.”  

“We are almost done, can you stay with me five or ten more minutes?”  

“Yes,” moving her chair forward but with her head still down.

“Lydia, your daughter is going to be leaving tomorrow, the day before the operation.  How do you feel about that?”  

She responded, “I feel bad about keeping her here, but I am totally dependent on her.”  Cynthia, touching her arm said, “I have to leave, Mom.”  

Lydia, still not making eye contact, said, “I am weak and just don’t have the strength to go through this.” 

 I asked, “Where are you going to get the strength?”  

“I don’t know.”  

I suggested, “Let’s go to your reading.”  

Cynthia pulled the reading out.  “Lydia, can you read it?”

After a long pause, Lydia read, 

“You must lay aside your former way of life and the old self which deteriorates through illusion and desire and acquire a fresh spiritual way of thinking.  You must put on the new person created in God’s image, whose justice and holiness are born of truth.”  

“So Lydia,” I asked, “where are you going to get your strength?”  

After a long pause and more encouragement, she said, “God.”  

I then asked, “Do you want to say anything to your daughter?”

With the first visible sign of emotion, lifting her head and reaching out to Cynthia, she said, “You are very dear to me!”  

Cynthia hugged Lydia and said, “I love you, Mom!”  

We finished with a prayer for the mother, the upcoming operation, in thanksgiving for the daughter’s help and her safe trip home, and for healing for the father, Lydia’s own mother, and the family.  

Transforming Meditation: Part 4

Transforming Meditation: Part 4

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On Thursday, the second day of Lydia’s spiritual care plan, the point was made and accepted, at least intellectually, that Lydia’s mother, husband, and neighbors no longer had power over her.  When fear arose within her, she was to repeat the name of Jesus over and over.

On Friday, the focus was for Lydia to forgive unconditionally.  She must not ask anything of those she is forgiving and she was not to judge them. This is an act of love to forgive another, just as Jesus forgives us unconditionally and he died that we may be forgiven.  

We went through forgiveness for each of the people in her life to get rid of anger and fear.  Whenever anger rose within her, she was to repeat, 

“Father, forgive them, they do not (or did not) know what they do.”  For herself, she was to repeat, “Father, forgive me for I did not know what I was doing.”

The plan was to use Saturday as a follow-up day to observe if Lydia could reduce her fear, then the God within, Who is Love, could work in her.  It was hoped that she could trust and turn herself and her operation over to God’s will and purpose for her.  

The exchanges on Saturday, the fourth day, are the most revealing of the work of the Holy Spirit and follow as noted at the time.  The mother, daughter, and I met in the otherwise empty chapel for purposes of privacy and the spiritual atmosphere.

“Lydia, before we start, I want to mention a couple of things.  Your daughter is sitting with us, but if we get into some uncomfortable areas, she may want to leave or I may ask her to leave briefly, and then come back.  Secondly, I noticed several times when we have met, you start moving your wheelchair backward and disconnect with me.  It is like you are hanging up the phone.  What is that about?”

Lydia responded weakly with her head down, “Sometimes I get tired and just want to go lay down.” 

“Lydia, I know that this work is difficult.  We are on a spiritual journey but we also have to deal with the past – the anger and fear that has built up over the years.   When you start to disconnect from me, I will draw your attention to it?”  

She responded, “OK.”

“Tell me, how you are feeling, Lydia?”  

“Not well, I just want this tumor to go away, to be done with.  I need a miracle.  I don’t know what I will be like after the surgery.”  

I responded, “If God gave you a miracle today and took away the tumor, do you think the anger and fear would go away?”  

Taking responsibility for her anger for the first time in our meetings, Lydia said, “The anger is deep down inside, I need to deal with it.”

I then led the discussion, “Yes, and we talked about forgiveness and to get rid of some of the anger toward your mother, your husband, the neighbor who poisoned your dog, and yourself.  Do you remember your words of forgiveness, let’s say toward your mother?”  

Lydia took a long pause with her head down, then said, “Father, forgive her for she knew not what she was doing.”  A similar phrase was repeated to each of the others and herself.  

I said. “Yes, you did not know what you were doing when you swallowed the lies.  You are a child of God, a beautiful child of God made in his image.  You did not know what you were doing when you put yourself down, you gave up your power.”  Lydia, taking more responsibility, said, “I made some bad decisions.”  

I asked, “Tell me about those decisions.”

“When I decided to get my degrees, I never had any breakthroughs in my scientific work.”  

I asked, “What kind of breakthroughs, give me an example.”  

“DNA, I never discovered DNA.”  

Somewhat curious, I asked, “Did you expect to discover DNA?”  

“No, I was just a lab technician.”  

I then asked who did discover DNA and remarkably she told me the full names of the two men that discovered DNA.  

Back to the subject, I said, “Why was the fact that you didn’t discover DNA a failure?”  She responded, “Because I was living according to the world’s desires, the world’s standards.”  

A short discussion ensued about living to the world’s standards and God’s standards being different. 

Click these links to read Transforming Meditation: Part 1, Transforming Meditation: Part 2 and Transforming Meditation: Part 3

Transforming Meditation: Part 3

Transforming Meditation: Part 3

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On Wednesday, the first day of Lydia’s spiritual care plan, the effort was to separate the offender from the offense.  This is meant to forgive the offender, not the offense since only God can forgive the offense.  In other words, we can forgive the sinner but not the sin. It seemed important to point out that this approach did not mean we were condoning the offense if we forgive the offender.  

We can forgive one another – our brothers and sisters, our neighbors.  

This would be the first step for Lydia in taking back her power that she had given to those who she perceived to have abused her – her own mother, her husband, neighbors, and self.  There was a little perceived success that day except for the initial verbal commitment of Lydia to take the spiritual journey.  

However, in a brief separate meeting with Lydia the next day, I was able to ascertain that she had total recall of everything that was said on Wednesday.  Also, we did identify that the grandmother had physically abused Lydia’s mother.

The second day, Thursday, the focus was on conquering the fear of repeated transgressions.  Lydia had to come to the conclusion that the abusers no longer had power over her.  Otherwise, this fear would drive out any possibility of love entering or her loving those around her.  

On the other hand, what did she gain by not ridding herself of this fear?  It should also be noted that we did not focus on the fear of her brain tumor and the impending operation at this point.  We focused only on the abusers.

Lydia’s mother – Lydia’s fear and low self-esteem arising from her mother’s treatment that was always critical and abusive, and Lydia’s resultant fear that she was never good enough.

Lydia’s husband, who she had finally divorced some years earlier had been frequently violent and verbally abusive.  Fear that she would upset him gave him power over her.  But it was important to point out to her that she had given power over to him and she was still suffering, he wasn’t.

Lydia’s neighbors had sent threatening letters and had poisoned her dog.  The dog was extremely important because it seemed in Lydia’s mind that the dog was the only one who gave her unconditional love.

Other fears that Lydia expressed was the fear of being left alone and that she would wake up and find no one to care for her, a fear of insanity and a feeling of helplessness, too weak to cope and a fear that God had turned His face.

Click these links to read Transforming Meditation: Part 1, Transforming Meditation: Part 2 and Transforming Meditation: Part 4

Transforming Meditation: Part 2

Transforming Meditation: Part 2

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Before I had an opportunity to actually write down the four-day spiritual plan for Lydia, I met her daughter in a long, empty corridor joining two buildings at the nursing home. The daughter lived in the mountains of a Western state.  From earlier conversations, I knew that she held a sort of “new age” belief, neither affirming nor denying God, but choosing to find wonder and mystery in nature.  

I told her that, with the approval of my supervisor, yet to be obtained, I planned to continue to work with her mother over the next few days. I began to explain to her that my approach to her mother was based on the love that God has for each one of us a child of God.  If her mother could realize this, then she could also realize her self-worth. 

The daughter then told me that she no longer had any love for her mother, her mother had never been able to show any love for her, and she only was there because her mother had become dependent on her and she felt duty-bound. As she said this, her eyes filled with tears.  

I suggested that we just let God work in the situation and remain open to what God had in mind for herself and her mother. We agreed that she would meet with the mother and me daily. 

Next, I wrote out the spiritual care plan and shared it with my CPE Supervisor. He reviewed and agreed to the plan, making adjustments here and there. The spiritual care plan was designed to spend approximately an hour a day over the next four days with the mother and daughter. 

The plan was a spiritual journey leading up to the operation to assist the mother to overcome anger, fear, and lack of forgiveness in order to experience God’s love. A specific objective was the healing of the mother and the reconciling love of the mother and daughter. 

A scripture reading that I chose for the mother to stay with her throughout the journey was, “You must lay aside your former way of life and the old self, which deteriorates through illusion and desire, and acquire a fresh, spiritual way of thinking.” (Ephesians 4:22-23)  

This reading was selected on the premise that she first had to forgive herself for accepting the illusion that she was not worthy of God’s love and giving up her “power,” only then, could she forgive those who had abused her. Also, it was apparent in her current condition, Lydia was incapable of showing love or other emotion to anyone else.  

At an earlier meeting, I had suggested to the mother that she tell the daughter that she loved her. In the presence of the daughter, all the mother could say, after some prompting from me, was, “I appreciate you” and that without feeling or conviction.  Once Lydia agreed to take the spiritual journey to heal, we met each day for the next four days.  

Please click here to link to Transforming Meditation: Part 1, Transforming Meditation: Part 3, and Transforming Meditation: Part 4