On Wednesday, the first day of Lydia’s spiritual care plan, the effort was to separate the offender from the offense.  This is meant to forgive the offender, not the offense since only God can forgive the offense.  In other words, we can forgive the sinner but not the sin. It seemed important to point out that this approach did not mean we were condoning the offense if we forgive the offender.  

We can forgive one another – our brothers and sisters, our neighbors.  

This would be the first step for Lydia in taking back her power that she had given to those who she perceived to have abused her – her own mother, her husband, neighbors, and self.  There was a little perceived success that day except for the initial verbal commitment of Lydia to take the spiritual journey.  

However, in a brief separate meeting with Lydia the next day, I was able to ascertain that she had total recall of everything that was said on Wednesday.  Also, we did identify that the grandmother had physically abused Lydia’s mother.

The second day, Thursday, the focus was on conquering the fear of repeated transgressions.  Lydia had to come to the conclusion that the abusers no longer had power over her.  Otherwise, this fear would drive out any possibility of love entering or her loving those around her.  

On the other hand, what did she gain by not ridding herself of this fear?  It should also be noted that we did not focus on the fear of her brain tumor and the impending operation at this point.  We focused only on the abusers.

Lydia’s mother – Lydia’s fear and low self-esteem arising from her mother’s treatment that was always critical and abusive, and Lydia’s resultant fear that she was never good enough.

Lydia’s husband, who she had finally divorced some years earlier had been frequently violent and verbally abusive.  Fear that she would upset him gave him power over her.  But it was important to point out to her that she had given power over to him and she was still suffering, he wasn’t.

Lydia’s neighbors had sent threatening letters and had poisoned her dog.  The dog was extremely important because it seemed in Lydia’s mind that the dog was the only one who gave her unconditional love.

Other fears that Lydia expressed was the fear of being left alone and that she would wake up and find no one to care for her, a fear of insanity and a feeling of helplessness, too weak to cope and a fear that God had turned His face.

Click these links to read Transforming Meditation: Part 1, Transforming Meditation: Part 2 and Transforming Meditation: Part 4